HOW TO LOSE A FRIEND IN 10 WAYS

1. Borrow your friend's books and set wet mugs on them. Return it and apologize. Repeat process after a week.

2. Flirt excessively with your friend's crush. Get especially intimate when you are sure your freind's looking.

3. When your friend does get some time alone with his crush/girl/guy make sure you scream, shout and do whatever it takes to interrupt them, every single time.

4. Insist on telling embarrassing stories about your friend at social gatherings. Especially if your friend's trying to impress someone present.

For Girls:

Get your friend to ask you out and then

5. Say NO. And make sure you till him plenty of times how it disgusts you that he should think that way.

6. Say NO, impulsively. Think it over and then say YES. 12 hours later say NO again.

7. For better effect, try to set him up with another girl after (6) and say YES, a month later. And have him say NO.

8. Say YES. Make sure you mess with his head sufficiently for him to break it off. Become a broken soul, sobbing mess and self-pitying slob. Blame it all on him. Cry often until all your other mutual friends think of him as some kind of monster.

Note: These are only 75% guarenteed to work.

For Guys:

9. Date all your friends' mutual best friend for well over a year. Dump her. Tell her you can still be friends. Claim to your other friends you aren't ready for committment. For extra measure, be sure to bitch about her to people who know her better than to beleive you.

Note: 100% guarenteed to lose ya atleast 3 friends all in one go.

10. Have him run over by a tanker.

Note: My personal favourite. Never got to try it out though. :)