Poetically (Un)Inclined

When I was eight, I was duly jealous of a classmate's ability at poetry writing. True, it was my poem, about my imaginary pet, that was published in the school magazine. But she had this notebook full of poems, and some even with titles longer than 'My Dog'. Sure, my poem described the dog in all its splendour and was everything a third-grader's poem should be, but who could beat a girl with a notebook?

I suppose that was my only attempt at verse-writing. The person I used to be could never stand being second best. So even class assignments went undone. Really, the teacher's condescending disapproval seemed so much better than being told what an amazing poem someone else has written. People reminded me often how good I was in english. But no matter what, poetry I wouldn't venture into.

One of my best friends now writes poetry, though she seldom lets anyone read it. The girl with the notebook doesn't even write even notes much anymore (:P). And I'm still versically challenged.

But I love poetry. Poetry was the only thing I appreciated in my second language. The best assembly I've attended was the Poetry Reading by some group from The British Council (and that had nothing to do with I, as a lowly 9ther, having Porko sitting next to me. Though that was an added benefit.). If poetry was a person, I'd describe our relationship as love-hate. I hate him. I love him.

The first poem I ever recieved, I was critical of it and cherished it. But when time came to express my feelings it came out as a rambling, unsatisfactory letter which incidentally failed in its objective. When I was 13 and submitting my first story to the Commonwealth, a 10-year old submitted a poem that surpassed my story. When I was 15 and smitten for the first time, I couldn't write love poems (not like I wanted to, but still I couldn't). When I am 17 and confused, I still believe I can't write poetry much as I want to.

Why can I not write poems???
Maybe I had been scared of trying earlier, but now I'm the girl with the I-Don't-Give-A-**#*-If-You-Think-I'm-A-*#**# attitude (that's what Nasa said, in those exact words). So try I shall. So what if its not outstanding, as might be expected of me? Atleast I'd be quelling my interests and satisfying my need for adequate expression.
SO THERE!